Will the highest VIN Dynasty please stand up.
Today it’s some of the resto-flip companies that crack me up. Here’s an example; It starts out with Tony Balducci discovering a 1993 Dodge Dynasty. These cars, as you know are highly collectible amongst Dodge Dynasty fans. But this isn’t any ordinary Dodge Dynasty, noooo, it has the highly desirable Bitsumishi “Hiroshima” engine. Tony notes that this car has a very high VIN. Could it be the highest VIN Dynasty and maybe even the last one produced? Tony checks with Grolan Gonads, otherwise known as the “numbers king.” Gro has huge floor-to ceiling bookshelves in his office loaded with books that contain nothing but numbers. You want a number? Call Grolan. You forgot a number? Call Grolan. Grolan will give you any number you want and all he asks for is a number in return–the one on your Gold Card.
So Tony calls Grolan. Is VIN so and so the highest for a Dodge Dynasty. Grolan goes to bookshelf no. 214, climbs up his 9-foot ladder, pulls out Vol 14 on Dodge Dynastys and checks it out. Yes it is!
Tony figures he has a hot number on his hands so he calls Flip-It Motors. They restore and sell cars. Tony tells ‘em what he has. Great! The Dynasty crowd will go nuts over this, because only ONE of those guys will have the distinction of owning the highest VIN Dynasty and be the envy of the hobby. Might even get on TV. And the car, well, that might fetch a half-mil or more ‘cuz, you know, it’s the only one.
So Tony brings the car to FlIp-It for the resto, and honcho Jimmy Corolla looks it over.
“Gee, Tony, the car is kinda rusty.”
“I know, Jimmy, the previous owner stored it in a well. But I know you do good work, and I’m sure we’ll make much more than our investment back because the car is so rare.”
So Flip-It restores the car and starts promoting it as the highest VIN Dynasty and the last 3.0L produced. Meanwhile, Thom Bornwell who has an extensive collection of Dynasties including the first and what he believes to be the last one produced, based on documentation and a letter from Chrysler, scratches his head. How can both of us have the last Dynasty produced? Figuring to get to the bottom of this situation, Thom hires a couple of professional gumshoes–Fred Bishop and Don Beeswax– to find the answer. If the investigators prove that Balducci’s Dynasty is the last one produced–so be it.
In the course of their investigation, the two sleuths discover that Lance Canoli owns a 1993 Dodge Dynasty with a VIN that’s several hundred numbers higher than Balducci’s. He’s owned the car for 19 years, 2 months, and 3 days, and even has pictures of him and his wife sitting in the trunk on their wedding day. The car is basically an unmolested survivor. So the private eyes check with Grolan Gonads. Gro looks over their proof and confirms that yes, Canoli’s Dynasty does indeed have a legit higher VIN.
‘Course, all this upsets Baldacci and Corolla no end. They debuted their Dynasty under the banner of “highest VIN and last produced” and they were figuring to run it through the Barnett-Jokester Auction and come away with a pretty penny. They’ve got a bunch into in their car (even though Balducci commented he wasn’t thrilled with the way the restoration came out, which upset Corolla even more). And Bornwell was rumored to be considering legal action because he maintains that Balducci and Corolla claim of having the last Dynasty produced is not true.
Rather than cave in to the evidence to the contrary, Flip-It still maintains their claimed credentials for their Dynasty. Their one-time pal Grolan Gonads now doesn’t know what he’s talking about and Canoli’s car is a made-up fake—an accusation they can’t back up. And Bornwell’s letter was written by a Chrysler employee–Charlie Trueheart– who didn’t have all the facts and is long dead anyhow–a claim that Trueheart finds rather amusing.
As things stand right now (and that could change), it looks like Flip-It may be going through with running the car through Barnett-Jokester as the highest VIN/last produced Dynasty. And unless the bidders do their homework, one Dynasty collector will not end up being the envy of all the Mopar hobby, but just be plain skeeeroood! And that’s no laughing matter.